You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
