Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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