then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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