don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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