if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
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