When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
