I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
