it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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