Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
