Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She needs sedatives and a leash
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
