Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My hand turned me down
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
