if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
