everyone is single if you try hard enough
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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