i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
