Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
