I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
