that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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