Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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