Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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