is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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