If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
