worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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