I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
