Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
