Your dad touched me again.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
