We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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