Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
