I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize