whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
