Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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