I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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