This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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