I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
