what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
