At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
