Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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