I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
