I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
