I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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