I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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