I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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