His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
