I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
