we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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