do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
