My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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