It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
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The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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