ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
