If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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