Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize