Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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