You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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