so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
