Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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