Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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