GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
