You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
