that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We are all done wearing pants today
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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