She said her name was "party"
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
