New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize