why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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