it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
