I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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