you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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