nut hugger
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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