You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
